Tonight, we're bringing you a post-show recap of TNA's iMPACT broadcast. In an unexpected turn of events, I got sucked into something that I'm involved with outside of the wrestling writing world that took longer than expected. We'll be back to bringing you live in-show coverage next Thursday.
Show Open, taped in Glasgow, Scotland on 1/30
We get an opening video that recaps MVP debuting last week, then we see them walking backstage. They cut to Abyss and Eric Young brawling backstage, and the fight spills out to the arena. An official runs out and the opening match is on.
Match #1 - Eric Young vs. Abyss; Monster's Ball Rules
Abyss beats on EY up the aisle, then Young grabs a pole. He beats Abyss with it. Abyss uses a back drop to allow him time to set up a table EY fights back, so Abyss tosses him in the ring, then gets the toys out.
EY hits a suicide dive. Out of nowhere they shill Dixie's Twitter page. Young goes for Abyss' mask, but takes a beating for it.
Standard garbage match here. EY hits a nut shot to start his offensive run. He tries a float over but gets caught and slammed into a chair. Abyss follows with a chokeslam for a near fall then pours out a bag of tacks. He perches up EY on the ropes. EY hits a Sunset Bomb into the tacks - ouch. EY goes up top but gets knocked out onto the table on the floor. Abyss throws EY in the ring but only gets two again.
Abyss goes out for Janice (the famous bat with spikes). He raises it up, but EY grabs the mask off to reveal Joe Park. Park hits the Black Hole Slam and wins.
Afterward, Park gets a piece of a mirror and looks. He sees himself, and he shakes his head like he's in denial.
A nice hot start. Not up for the thumbtack spot anymore though. Looks like this might last til Lockdown - which I'm not sure I'm a fan of.
Bobby Roode walks in to Dixie's office and demands she sign his contract for a title shot. Dixie hemms and haws about it, then tells Roode he lost his last match and she won't book it. She books him against Joe for a number one contender's match instead. She tells him she will have his back. Roode tells her if this is a set-up it will bite her in the ass and storms out.
If you listened to RingRap Audio, you know I am not a fan of Dixie. But this was good Dixie here. The "diet" comment wasn't necessary though and a bit silly. Stop the comedy stuff.
We get some hype for MVP coming up later.
We get a recap of the Abyss post-match stuff.
MVP comes out, and along the way holds a fan sign that says "I am the new investor." He runs through his catchphrases and says he's tired of owners ignoring talent and fans. He says he's there to make changes because TNA had talent and fans but lacks leadership.
That was kinda shooty...
MVP says he has invested wisely and made contacts with people who invested with him in the company. Rockstar Spud interrupts. He tells MVP he should introduce himself to the Queen and she will welcome him with open arms. MVP retorts to Spud that he needs to go tell Dixie he booked Magnus against Kurt Angle in a non-title match.
Obviously, that wasn't a shoot. I'm glad they tried to explain where he got the money to invest, but that just seems hollow to me. It's not that it's bad, it's just thin.
Bully Ray quotes Coolio, saying he will stuff the next person he sees in the coffin to pay for Ken Anderson's sins. He says Anderson took his family away, and he will take Anderson away from his family next week.
Chris Sabin is in a purple room, and he says he was in a room as special to he and Velvet, and he wants to do something nice for her tonight.
Dear lord...what was that?
Curry Man comes out, and Bully Ray comes out with the coffin. Ray tells Curry Man that it's "wrong place, wrong time" and hits him with the big boot. Ray picks him up and hits a piledriver after yelling "ANDERSON!" He stuffs Curry Man in the coffin, takes a mic and says he will end Anderson's career next week, and slams the lid.
Magnus whines about facing Angle. Dixie tells him it's not a title match and he needs to suck it up. He leaves, and Ethan Carter enters. He says he needs to talk, but she says she doesn't have time and cracks about her lipstick. He asks if that's true for family, and she says he will still be family tomorrow and the next day, so they'll reconvene in a week. He leaves but he's obviously upset.
I don't get it. But, he's not terrible, so I'll wait and see where it goes.
Austin Aries comes out to a big reaction. Aries puts himself over as the man who invented Option C. He says he intends to do it again. He goes on, but gets cut off by the Bro-Mans music. They act like asses on the stage, and that lets Zema Ion attack Aries from behind. He hits him a few times then calls for a referee.
Match #2 - Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion; TNA X-Division Championship
Ion covers after the beatdown but Aries kicks out. They battle to the floor, and Ion gets the better of Aries for a moment. Action moves back in the ring and Aries hits his corner drop kick and follows with the Brainbuster to get the win.
No one got anything out of that segment. I have no clue what that was about.
The announcers hype up Angle vs. Magnus.
They run shitty security footage (sorry, it is) with Sam Shaw and Christy Hemme. Hemme is getting her makeup on when Shaw appears. She tells him they need to talk. Shaw talks about collecting things of beauty, and she freaks out and asks about the mannequin. She says they need to just be friends. She asks if he understands and he says yes. She walks off and he doesn't look too happy.
Bobby Roode is complaining about having to face Joe when Magnus shows up. He tells Roode to suck it up, because it's his job. They bicker back and forth and Roode storms off angrily. He wishes Magnus luck.
It seems too early for this and it ends up feeling out of place.
MVP meets Dixie in her office backstage. Dixie plays innocent, saying she's playing fair and MVP seemingly accepts what she's saying. He says he is looking forward to working with her and they should discuss some of these details publicly. She tries to argue about Magnus vs. Angle, and he says he was fair and made it non-title. He poses then leaves.
This was bad Dixie here. It hurt the segment and made it hard to pay attention to.
Match #3 - Kurt Angle vs. Magnus; Non-Title Match
Angle hits his triple German suplex spot early on, then sets up the Angle Slam. Magnus counters out and hits a slam of his own for two. Angle hooks him in the Ankle Lock. EC3 charges out and hits Angle to cause a DQ.
Afterward, EC3 goes after Angle's leg. Angle battles back for a moment, but EC3 gets a chair and attacks the leg again. He throws Angle back in the ring and hooks on a leg-breaker hold. He refuses to break it until Brian Hebner finally drags him off. Hebner holds up the "X" and medics come tend to Angle. EC3 looks on with this crazy look in his eyes.
That seems out of character for EC3. He never came across as this before.
After commercial, we get a recap of EC3's attack. Joe checks on Angle, and the HerveyCam guy walks in. Joe asks what he wants, then says Dixie started a war by taking out AJ, Hardy and Sting, and it's a war he intends to win.
We get a video recap of what happened between Sabin and Velvet recently. They cut to Sabin in the purple room and he says that's where they shared their first kiss. He says he has something to say tonight, and he wants everyone to see it. He pulls out a ring-sized box from his pocket. Velvet walks in, and he thanks her. She asks about the cameras and he asks her to sit.
Back from break, Sabin tells Velvet she broke his heart when she told him they were through. He also saw the world clearly for the first time and he knew what to do. He says he has something to ask her and holds out the box. "Will you, Velvet, Will you?' She cries and takes the box and opens it...but there's nothing there.
Sabin says "Will you get out of my life?" He says when he was champion all anyone talked about was her. He says he is going to prove he's the superstar in the company and challenges her to a match next week. He says if she doesn't show up, it proves she is a coward. He leaves, and she cries.
We get a recap of MVP's segments and the announce team hypes up MVP meeting with Dixie in the ring later. They then recap Joe becoming the number one contender last week.
Match #4 - Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode; Number One Contender Match
Joe gets control with a straight right hand. He goes for a face wash kick but Roode counters with a drop kick that sends Joe to the floor. Roode rolls him back in, hits a blockbuster, then uses a chinlock.
Big shots traded back and forth, and missed shots as well. Roode hits a spinebuster but Joe no-sells it and follows with a powerslam. Roode hits an enziguri and a clothesline for two. Roode sets up the finish but Joe falls off - that was awkward. Joe hits the Muscle Buster, then locks Roode in the rear naked choke to get the win and retain his #1 Contendership.
This was fine, but the outcome was never in question and really didn't last long enough to really feel all that important.
We see MVP walking backstage, as are Dixie and Spud. They're up next.
Dixie introduces MVP in a real over-the-top fashion. MVP comes out and he puts over being in Glasgow again. Dixie says that MVP had a good idea to do this in the ring and she wants to talk first. She puts Magnus over as a classy champion that people can look up to. The crowd rains heat on her for that one and there's a chant I can't make out. She says if everyone follows her, things will continue to be great.
MVP asks if he can make suggestions for changes. She tells him to go ahead, and he says they only agree on one thing; they disagree. He runs down Dixie for creating a playing field where only her and her cronies thrive on. He says he didn't come to TNA to be a hands-off investor, and he will be very hands-on. He tells her the party is over, and Dixie throws a fit as Spud escorts her to the back.
Seriously, that was bad. I hate "control of the company" struggles and that's exactly where this is going now. The company just doesn't feel like it's that big of a deal to matter who is controlling it. I mean - this is like me and my friends struggling over control of my truck club. Really, who gives a damn aside from those of us involved? Same thing here.
This was boring. I sped through it on the DVR to catch up within a half an hour of the show ending, and it still bored me. The show just felt flat and lifeless across the board. Nothing was all that hot for me. Maybe your view is different.
We should be back in the saddle for live coverage next Thursday night. Join us then as TNA continues the European tour next week right here on RingRap.com.